under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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