Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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