You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
