My room smells like vodka and shame
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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