I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
