I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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