you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
