That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what day is it and did you see me today?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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