oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
