I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't put those talents on a resume
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
