I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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