This girl is more easily done than said...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
