I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
