he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
