your room smells of hookers.
And success
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
