I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize