Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
