just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
