A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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