He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
