called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love having hate sex.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
