Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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