I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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