No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize