Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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