Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
