he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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