Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he shaved USA in his pubs
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize