hell yes lets make some ravioli
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
