Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
