Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize