I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
