i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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