I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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