were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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