She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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