Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
