dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
