aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize