That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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