u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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