Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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