Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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