break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
