Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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