My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
