wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
should my penis look like a turkey
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
