All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
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I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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