I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
