I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
