yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize