i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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