she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
