I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
