OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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