the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
