i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
