ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
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once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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