so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
