He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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