I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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