i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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